Move On

"Do you have bf before?"

......................

"You really can move on?"
Someone asked me in the car.
"Yes."
I answered confidently.
But they didn't know how much tears did I used to move on.
They didn't know how suffer am I.
They didn't know how much % brave to face the truth and sadness.
They didn't know my heart was bleeding when I MOVE ON.
I know myself very well,I know I'm not okay.

Every time need to force myself to do something that I found that is hard to do.
Say Hi to someone that you found that is really hard to face them.
But I did it.I said Hi with smiling face.
Some people could not be friend anymore with the person they loved before.
But I did it.We are still friend right now.
Some people afraid to meet someone that hurted them before.
But I did it,I could face it.

It's hurt when I recall back some of the memories.
If the time could reverse,I won't do it again.
I REALLY WON'T LET IT HAPPENS AGAIN I SWEAR!
Never!

I hope that I really can move on without any doubts.
And do not tell lies to myself.
Maintain a positive thinking is such a hard task.
But I'll never give up.
I will control my emotion and my thinking.

After they handed over the president of CF for me.
I was like:" Oh my is me.God,is that your choice?"
I worry I can't do it.
My english speaking not that good..
My bible knowledge sucks too (Sorry,dear jesus >< )
But I will learn it,I know is JESUS choice.
1st time in my life..as a President.
God,you need to give me a lot of strength.
Let me feel your love through testimony,bibble etc..

I hope that my friend really can understand me.
I'm not that free ><
And when I do everything,I have my own reason.
I just wanna calm down myself this few days/weeks.
Ignore me when I'm emo.
I won't get angry.