Move On

"Do you have bf before?"

......................

"You really can move on?"
Someone asked me in the car.
"Yes."
I answered confidently.
But they didn't know how much tears did I used to move on.
They didn't know how suffer am I.
They didn't know how much % brave to face the truth and sadness.
They didn't know my heart was bleeding when I MOVE ON.
I know myself very well,I know I'm not okay.

Every time need to force myself to do something that I found that is hard to do.
Say Hi to someone that you found that is really hard to face them.
But I did it.I said Hi with smiling face.
Some people could not be friend anymore with the person they loved before.
But I did it.We are still friend right now.
Some people afraid to meet someone that hurted them before.
But I did it,I could face it.

It's hurt when I recall back some of the memories.
If the time could reverse,I won't do it again.
I REALLY WON'T LET IT HAPPENS AGAIN I SWEAR!
Never!

I hope that I really can move on without any doubts.
And do not tell lies to myself.
Maintain a positive thinking is such a hard task.
But I'll never give up.
I will control my emotion and my thinking.

After they handed over the president of CF for me.
I was like:" Oh my is me.God,is that your choice?"
I worry I can't do it.
My english speaking not that good..
My bible knowledge sucks too (Sorry,dear jesus >< )
But I will learn it,I know is JESUS choice.
1st time in my life..as a President.
God,you need to give me a lot of strength.
Let me feel your love through testimony,bibble etc..

I hope that my friend really can understand me.
I'm not that free ><
And when I do everything,I have my own reason.
I just wanna calm down myself this few days/weeks.
Ignore me when I'm emo.
I won't get angry.

2nd Month

To :Someone
Happy Valentine's Day <3
Take care of yourself and be happy!

第二个月了
这次又不知道会到多久呢？
我真的以为不在乎了
怎么知道当我看见那些照片时
我的心
很不舒服
但又形容不出
这种感受虽然我经历过很多次了
可每一次的感觉是不一样的

我知道你要post出来的原因
就是那时候我才知道我根本就是在乎
我干麻要骗自己 :(

答应过我要开开心心
希望你真的能做到
不要骗我
因为我能够知道你是伤心还是开心